Never Too Old

I was able to attend Living Proof Live this past weekend in Biloxi, MS, led by Bible teacher, Beth Moore.  If I am being honest with you, I went expecting the weekend to change the lives of some of the women I knew were searching and that happened. What I didn't expect was that God had a specific Word for me this weekend that I one had been searching for for many many years.

The theme of the weekend was "Longing"  Longings are those deep places you ache so much to be realized.  All of us have them even if we have ignored them for years.  I knew my longing...have known it...but for some strange reason felt it was a prideful, selfish longing and that there was no way it could ever be fulfill it because I was not worthy of it.  Then BOOM, Beth said these words, "If God prepared it, we were wired to long for it!" I sat in amazement because I at that moment I realized my "wiring" had been made exactly for that which I had always longed for.

Let me be more specific.  I am a speaker and a Bible teacher.  There is NOTHING in this life I desire to do more than to share what God teaches me through His word to other women. I would give up most anything to go to a place to teach...it is the place I feel most fulfilled.  On the outside that seems prideful and that was how I have felt.  Why would God use ME in this way. I am a nobody. Then that "wired for" phrase kept coming back to me.

I thought back over my years on this earth and I remember writing "sermons" in the 5th grade to deliver to my classmates! (never did but wrote them anyway!)  In high school I excelled in speech class and had a passion for studying the Bible at my church...I even memorized large portions. Because I was female and couldn't be a "preacher," while in college, I began singing in concerts called, "Sermon in Song" and spent more time talking between the songs than actually singing.  My personality sees everything in life as an illustration of a biblical principle.  (Movies are the worse)  I am so different than all my friends because I would rather discuss theology than go shopping for shoes....yet when I got the call into a speaking ministry, I became very insecure because "who was I??"

My longing has been to teach and "preach" the Word of God and Beth's words freed me to accept that this longing was put there by God as He wired this crazy blonde to do exactly what I am doing.  There is no pride in saying that...believe me....I have searched my heart over to make sure.  It is what I was created to do and God had prepared me from childhood to do this very thing. I accept that now and I cannot tell you how freeing it is.  I can now ask for opportunities to share without feeling guilty.  He wants to use me.

So why am I writing this on my blog??  Because I absolutely know that some of you reading this have a deep longing in your heart that you are afraid to voice because it might sound "silly, prideful, unreasonable, etc"  Friend, that is satan keeping you from your call.  Your longing  might not be the same as mine but God has specifically wired you to long for something in this life that you have been wired to do since you have been a child.  This earthly longing can be realized.  Look to Him today and open up about what it is in your heart.  Express your longing to the One who made you. You were wired for it...your whole life has been in preparation for it...the only thing lacking is, by faith, stepping out into it. He wants to use you, too!!